Dark Night of the Soul: The Descent

Well it's been ten years and a thousand tears, and look at the mess I'm in.

A broken nose and a broken heart, an empty bottle of gin.

Well I sit and I pray in my broken down Chevrolet

While I'm singin' to myself, there's got to be another way.
Take away, take away, take away this ball and chain
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired and I can't take any more pain.

Ball and Chain, Social Distortion

Life is a figment of our imagination.  We all imagine life to be lived a certain way, to follow a certain story line, to have a specific texture and flavor with which we are familiar.  Guys typically grow up with stories of heroes and villains; eventually finding a role within society that fits their instinctual reality.  Girls typically grow up with stories of goddesses and princesses in waiting or of Cinderella servitude.  Regardless of how close anyone may fit those culture identity plays the nature of becoming a part of society is to live out some expectation in the grand scheme of our shared imaginations.

But then life happens.  We are fragile creatures who don’t bend easily without breaking.  And break we do, over and over, until we often lose sight of what it was we thought life was suppose to be.  At the heart of darkness, where all that was thought to be, crumbles; the people we thought would fulfill our destiny, disappoint; the roles we thought we would be playing, disintegrate without any hope of fulfillment.  At that moment, we either turn to escape, or we brace ourselves to face forward to a new unfamiliar, unintentioned reality beyond our expectations. 

Escape is by far the more reliable strategy.  Why suffer when we can numb our senses with soul altering substances that empty us of the capacity to feel pain?  We can hide behind false identities that mask our vulnerability to the world; or, we can enjoy our despair, finding new ways to show the world our pain over and over again, taking our place in the great hall of tragic victims, that didn’t deserve to be what they became—the failure, the drunk, the addict, and the outcasts.

As "satisfying" as the soulless victim might be in the grand scheme of shared imaginations, the question still stands, what would it be like to face the emptiness of a life unfulfilled, to actually move through the “Dark Night of the Soul” to discover what is on the other side?  To many, the prospect is too terrifying to even entertain; a complete deconstruction of identity and personal history.  And in truth, the journey can be most terrifying, which leads most into the hands of the pharmaceutical industry and drug oriented psychiatrists or to self-medicate.  The obvious problem is that it doesn't attend to the underlying issue, the call for psychological transformation within the individual psyche.  Antidepressants and Anti-Anxiety medications are great at masking the symptoms and creating a person that can mutely function in society.  And if that is what one choses to do, nothing should prevent one from taking that path of cyclical but less intensive depressive episodes.  In some cases where the boundaries toward suicide are psychologically unmitigated it can be lifesaving.  


But there is a different path that can also be taken what the great Mythologist, Joseph Campbell, outlined as the Hero’s Journey, the archetypal path of the unwitting initiate’s descent into darkness to face the great monster deep within or without, to eventually emerge chastened and wizened, the heroic persona who transforms the society he came from and then returned.  Frank L. Baum’s Wizard of Oz series is a good example of the hero’s journey in modern literature.  George Lucas deliberately used Campbell’s work in writing the Star Wars film series. 

Well I've searched and I've searched to find the perfect life,

A brand new car and a brand new suit, I even got me a little wife

But wherever I have gone I was sure to find myself there

You can run all your life but not go anywhere

Second Stanza, Ball and Chain,et.al.

In personal terms, the Hero's Journey is the process of letting go of dysfunctional expectations and behaviors that keep us circling the same spot day after day when we are actually trying to go somewhere else.  The tremendous energy that is experienced as psychological pain at that moment, is refocused on moving through to an authentic space beyond the portal of what we know and with which we are comfortable, to find our own heroic identity within, to finally embrace the integrative calling from what Carl Jung described as the Self, the core sense of wholeness within each individual. 

Not surprisingly, with our penchant for “quick and easy’ this has been paralleled in popular storytelling with the “Action Hero” the warrior/magician who rather than go through the uncomfortable deconstruction of the hero’s journey instead conjures up the great powers of the unknown to control reality to meet their own imagination.  Rather than be transformed they become the transformer, dictating a new reality by a secret formula/weapon which they uniquely possess; overcoming all odds.  In popular storytelling we intuitively understand the difference between a Hero and an Action Hero--a Luke Skywalker and a Conan the Barbarian, or a Dorothy of Oz and a Helen of Troy.  But once the credits role, are we willing to descend into our own story to face the forces within that conflict and inhibit our ability to live freely?

In Defense of Violence: The Great Liberal-Conservative Divide

America was born of violence between liberal colonists and conservative royalist some 240 years ago and this past week with the assassination attempt of a high ranking liberal political figure Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords has shown how deeply violence still stirs in the heart of America. The facts remain unclear as to the motivation and influencers of the mentally unstable young man who shot 20 people, killing 6. However, what is clear is the attitude of suspicion and disdain in the present political environment. Over the past year, the level of American political discourse has sunk to incredible lows. During the election season, we saw conservative gun activists show up to political rally's of the opposing party with weapons in hand, then candidates of both parties found numerous ways to bring weapons of all sorts into their campaign events and ads, representatives of the Tea Party took it a step further by brutally attacking opposing activists and press members at their rallys, and assassin gunsights were used to mark specific politicians for removal in Palinist propoganda. The later became particularly poignant this last week given that Giffords was one of the politicians marked for "assassination"; a fact that prompted both Palin and other conservative politicians to refer to it as harmless political theater. While the Palinistas were undoubtedly just being careless in their hate speech, not intending it to be taken literally, a review of any number of blogs/discussion threads found that a percentage, small but yet alarming number of her supporters do take it seriously, stating that the campaign material and the attempted assassination were "a good beginning" or a "warning" to liberals and/or a call to arms to continue the assassination of more politicians and liberals alike.

The fight between liberals and conservatives in America was born out of a struggle for self-determination, and in defense of a hope and idealism about human natures capacity to come together for the common good, the first modern democracy, by the rule of the people. Appealing to a higher authority in God and nature, these traitorous liberal rebels risked everything up against the conservative Tory’s and British Royalists, declaring independence from nobility by asserting that "all men are created equal" taking up arms against their former British King. After winning the Revolutionary War, the liberal rebels, then founded the United States of America under the Articles of Confederation, and later after that proved inadequate, made a second attempt reframing the government under the US Constitution.

Eighty years later, the liberal Republican Party, under the leadership of Abraham Lincoln, appealing to a higher authority in God and nature, challenged the US Constitution’s legal recognition of slavery and instantiation that African slaves were only 3/5 of a human (it should be noted that it wasn’t until the mid 20th century under Joseph McCarthy that Republican’s reinvented themselves as the bastion of conservatism and fear-mongering that they are known for today.) Conservative Northerners objected to Lincoln's liberal prospecting and Lincoln initially retracted from any abolitionist agenda. But then conservative Southerners threatened by the economic and philosophical impact of Northern Abolitionist movement on the unabashedly racist Southern culture and livelihood, went to war to ensure their right to enslave Africans which they argued weren't really human. The liberal Northerners prevailed in the ensuing bloody civil war and the constitution was amended to abolish slavery; but also culminating in one of the finest examples of "political theater" in American history, the "assassination" of Abraham Lincoln at the Ford Theater in Washington, D.C.

In the fight between liberals and conservatives in America in the 20th century, in slightly less dramatic fashion, liberals in the early 20th century fought for women’s and worker’s rights, in the mid 20th century for the civil rights of black and non-European minorities, finally resulting in an amendment to the constitution and landmark federal legislation; however, in the tradition of great "political theater" leaving a trail of blood with the "assassinations" of several prominent liberal leaders, most notably the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King Jr.

Conservatives have consistently been on the losing side of the great moral debates in American history. Whether you consider that good or bad, and whether you buy into revisionist portrayal of the founding fathers as the conservative patriots of American History, is becoming the great divide in 21st century politics. It certainly begs the question what would America look like today if the conservatives in this county had won any of these battles for the soul of our democracy and the liberty of America? Moreover, in today's world, does the conservative fight to establish a Christian government and to promote civil rights only to religiously approved groups of citizens equate to these historical battles to prevent the establishment of privileged religious institutions or traditions in government and the equal protection of rights under the law? Do the lines between liberals and conservatives today even equate to the historical battle lines that were waged in the social and political institutions of America over the last 240 years?

On the other hand, given the growing threats by conservative groups such as the Tea Party rebels, Christian Fascists, Gun Rights activists, and various militia movements, calling for their followers to take up arms, both figuratively and literaly, against the liberal foundations and representatives of the United States government, is it time for liberals to begin to take them seriously? Have liberals fallen behind in arming themselves for the next great American civil war that is brewing in the pages and punditry of conservative blogs, television, and radio?  Should liberals step up with their own hit list of conservative politicians to "assassinate"--all in the name of good political theater ala John Wilkes Booth?  Have we come to the point where we must decide whether we are a Red American or Blue American? 

But in the end, is that what we really want--haven't we learned anything from this long history of the violence between liberals and conservatives in America? America may have been born out of of violence, however, the basis for our democracy is not domination, nor abject agreement, but respect for those on both sides of any argument.  Democracy embraces the peaceful transition of power based on majority opinion and the protection of minority views.  Appealing to a higher authority wherever one finds it, we are challenged to move beyond the battle lines artificially drawn between "liberals" and "conservatives" presented too often by self-promoting political leaders and talk-show pundits who manufacture conflicts where often there are none, who polarize the American public when in reality neither of the major political parties is actually identifiably right or left, but a hodgepodge of special interests on both sides of the politcal spectrum.  When we tear down the curtain hiding the political machinery, there never was a boogieman out to destroy America on either side of the debate. 

Rather, perhaps now it is time to return to that common ground imagined by the founding fathers of this country.  Despite the propaganda on both sides, there is a shared belief and value system by the majority of Americans that is not represented by the politicians trying to get elected to a government which is increasingly oligarchical, out of touch with the needs of the people, preserving the privilege of the few and the powerful. The Tea Party movement radicalized that notion and made it self-serving by fomenting anger, hatred, and fear against a fictional political foe that was manufactured and funded by conservative think tanks and libertarian ideologues, rather than a true grassroots effort of the people for the people.  The reality is "we the people" are the government, any criticism ultimately points back to us; we elect representatives for ourselves and our neighbors.  If we only elect politicians that represent special interests--the greatest special interest being the political parties themselves--who can't get along with one another to do the people's business, it's nobody's fault but our own.  So rather than focus on the few issues which form the basis of rancorous debate in the electoral rampage, maybe we can join together, “liberal” and “conservative” Americans, to reform a system that is increasingly out of touch with the common good of ourselves and our neighbors, we the American people.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head (I think maybe I need a new umbrella)

The freshness of the world after a good rain washes away all the accumulated dirt and debris from our cement encased lives.

In national news over the last week, tens of thousands of birds in Arkansas died in mid flight and nearby fish started floating belly up in some apparent Jonestownian suicide attempt.  The specific causes of the events over this New Year haven’t been fully determined, whether toxins, lightning, depression, or the final apocalypse.  However, the sensationalized reaction to the event underlines American’s widespread disconnection to the world around them reacting to such environmental issues only when something dramatic happens in their own backyard, while in fact on a global scale it is estimated that over 70% of sea life have already been devastated due to overfishing and pollution in the last 100 years and land animals are going extinct at an alarming rate due to destruction of their habitats and hunting.  At the heart of that disconnection at least in part is due to deliberate obfuscation by political forces with an interest in unimpeded exploitation of natural and animal resources of the planet with no concern for the future.  This is compounded by an education system in this country which has failed to teach the basic framework to understand the world around us demonstrated by a recent Pew poll indicating that one in five (21%) Americans believe the sun revolves around the earth (for those one in five reading this, it doesn't), a basic lesson from kindergarten science upon which much of natural science builds.  Then finally we see an irrational culture of conspiracy and hate-mongering based on simplistic propaganda that should be swiftly refuted and set aside based on easily identifiable facts, but instead have become the basis for burgeoning political forces in this country with a near blind faith in churches and/or corporations as the protectors of truth, justice, and the American way of life (somewhere along the way killing off Superman, however in fairness the police are still investigating; no charges have been brought.)

Admittedly I am one of those people that believes that the environment, the laws of nature, and our relationship to them are actually important and a good thing the way God made them--essential to the health and well-being of ourselves and the billions of organisms with which we share the planet .  Conversely, I find it disconcerting the religious and political ideologies that are increasingly the hallmark in America of conservatism on the right and libertarianism on the left, promulgating the assertion that nature and the environment are either the product of some cosmic fall from Grace ripe for exploitation leading to a great apocalyptic collapse in the end times; or merely a nuisance and an illicit impediment to economic progress and/or profit.  In an Orwellian twist, these same groups are increasingly, and conveniently, portraying scientists, with whom they disagree and of course know better than, as the enemy of the people (or more sinisterly, friends of the Great Satan.)

One example of this is the Climate Conspiracy theory, straight out of an Austin Power or James Bond movie (or for those who prefer the Cartoon Network, Pinky and the Brain) portraying scientists as planning to take over the world.  Born the offspring of a bizarre corporate-politico-religious liason as payback for data intensive Climate research that has led 98% of the experts who have spent their lives working on the subject to conclude that Carbon Dioxide pollution does have an impact on the environment; and more pollution will make it even worse; and then positing that maybe there should be less pollution or we will irreparably hurt ourselves.  At the core of the Conspiracy theorists belief system is an essential belief that we don’t have any responsibility for the world or anyone around us.  We are the pinnacle of evolution and/or creation and should be able to do whatever we want.  No government or their scientific minions should have the authority to tell me that I can’t enjoy any activity I want, any way I want, even if it does cause harm to others who aren’t as special as me (short of actually pulling the trigger of course... well unless they were trespassing)--just as Jesus proclaimed, “the strong shall inherit the earth.”

As part of my Masters program, I spent one quarter studying the cross-cultural contexts for psychological health and healing with native Hawaiians on the Big Island, immersed in both modern and ancient mythology and history of the islands.  A very rich experience, I won’t go into now, but one thread that permeated much of what I observed, the fundamental and rather obvious notion, “I am on an island in the middle of a great big ocean.”  Contrasting this with the dominant Western mythology of “screw up and move west young man,” an idea that grows untenable very quickly on an island in the middle of a great big ocean, leading to a more basic wisdom, “maybe we should take some responsibility for the place and people around us because tomorrow I am gonna wake up and they're still gonna be here.”  Cooperation, consideration, reconciliation became core values that were essentially built into the politics and daily lives of the traditional culture and world view of the Hawaiians. 

Obviously one paragraph is insufficient to develop the full notion of the Island Mentality and its necessity in the survival of the Hawaiians over thousands of years.  But the gift of the Hawaiians to the survival of modern humanity, is the invitation to examine what this might mean in a world, a planet, that has become increasingly an island unto itself.  A tradition developed over thousands of years that invites us to look upon each other as cousins, to resolve our conflicts with certainty, to reach out to one another with generosity, to respect one another with openness and acceptance, and to become aware of, and an essential participant in, taking care of the world around us.

Aloha ("to share the breath/essence of life")

Auld Lang Syne: Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot and Never Brought Online?

Another New Years Eve, a moment of reflection, a confluence of hope and regrets, stirred by an abundance of libations and incoherent renditions of Auld Lang Syne while the Giant Disco Ball of Time Square leaps to its demise on the countdown of Old Man Clark.

In the first line of the old Scottish melody Auld Lang Syne (or Old Long Since) we are asked a rhetorical question, should old acquaintances be forgot and never brought to mind? Most revelers today, including myself, just sing right along the first line and chorus and then mumble through the rest of the song, while hugging and/or kissing the person next to them, taking sips of champagne, and making loud noises. But what of the old acquaintances that the song invites us to remember, forgotten over the years, and why put forth such a question to mark a transitional moment as the New Year celebration.

In the song the storyteller is reminiscing on youthful times of friendship and shared experiences.

We two have run about the slopes,

and picked the daisies fine;

But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,

since auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.

At first blush, there is a bittersweetness, a deepness bordering on melancholy that is evoked by considering lost connections of earlier days. But on further reflection, the storyteller is not inviting sadness of the lost joys of youth but rather is honoring its meaning and purpose, reaching out to reconnect with loved one's even across time and geographical separation.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!

and surely I’ll buy mine!

And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!

And give us a hand o’ thine!

And we’ll take a right good-will draught,

for auld lang syne.

A moment of recognition, a toast to honor our loved one's that distance or death cannot defeat. Imagining that they at that same moment in some far off place are joining us toasting with their own pint of drink. A surreal moment of depth, mutuality, and connection.

In an age of social networking and internet connectivity, we have better opportunities to bridge that momentary lapse of shared community. In the last two years, I have been able to check in with quite a few old friends here and there from my youth, with relative ease, if for no other reason than to know that they are alive and well.  And so to each of my friends and auld acquaintances, I raise a pint and drink to your continued successes.

Yet, on the same note, not all make it so far and I want to also recognize those friends and family that may sit around a more distant table. And express the joys of their presence in our thoughts and memories we hold dear. In particular I can't escape the invitation to remember those I actually did spend my youth "run(ning) about the slopes"--friends, running partners, teammates from my teen years.  A couple of years back I wrote a poem in honor and as a eulogy for a two of these friends, Bonnie and Doug, I had recently learned of their untimely passing--in the spirit of Auld Lang Syne it seems appropriate to dust this off now and say, you are gone but not forgotten, to you I raise a joyful pint as well:

Unfinished business on a road to yesteryear,

Friends I have known, unbeknownst, disappear

As shadows at midnight in anguish and fear,

Wander in a lost, distant past, memories unclear.

Uncertain spirits, a darkened curtain now shields

The truth, tomorrow’s sunrise forever concealed.

As shadows in moonlight, down darkened alley’s steal,

A friendship once forged in a thousand footsteps afield.

Anonymous epithets in tragic relief,

A foothold, unfettered, the final lap turned brief,

As shadows of past victories, fall in their tracks.

Another finish line is crossed, but on a different path

At the top of a hill, eternity reaches the dawn

Your spirit runs free to where it belongs.

As the shadows melt into the valley below

Our hearts run with you,

one last mile to go.

May this year be filled with the Love of Family and Friends.
Cheers and Happy New Year!