The paradox of uncertainty--calling out our fear and vulnerability in the face of the unkown while offering us the possibility of something new and suprising in an unexpected episode of our lives. A door creaks open to a dimly lit room. We see something in the shadows barely detectible. Between memories and imagination we entertain the multitudes of phantoms and specters of fables and foibles drawing us inward to the shapes hidden in the grayness. We project our fears into the darkness and are rewarded with the chill of our own nakedness staring back at us in a foggy embankment. It is in this moment we can choose to turn away and return to the relative safety from whence we came or to reach forward to embrace our naked selves to bring warmth and comfort to that which stands exposed, to encloth our uncertainty with an openness to what is possible. When we cease to try and control or reject that which we fear, it begins to have less control over us; we begin to see ourselves in the darkness and with each step forward we see the brokenness that rises in the mist.
The power of uncertainty is the power of possibility just as the power of certainty is the power of disillusionment. When we fail to dream, we fail to live fully and truly honest lives. The walls we build to protect us eventually imprison us. We are doomed to lives of despair having failed to challenge the steep walls which surround us; we crave their sturdy protection and they give us the cold comfort of carefully crafted stone stacked one upon the other until we can no longer look out to the world beyond. Our isolation makes us safe.
Love is not possible without uncertainty; it is wholly dependent upon it and cannot exist without it. When we try to control others, our emotions, or our situation we destroy the possiblitily of love. Love and control are opposites. Love is the possibility of the uncertain happening in relationship to another. It is the doorway through the walls we have built for ourselves. It is a window into the soul of our shared humanity.
Life is by nature uncertain. No matter how many times our heart has beat in the past there are no guarantees that it will beat in the next moment or next after that. We can accept that uncertainty and live moment to moment; or we can refuse to accept it and build a fantasy world of our own creation to retreat into, hiding our emptiness behind material and sensorial splendor. We can shut ourselves into castles of solitude or catherals of religious devotion. We may relish in our victimization at the hands of powers not of our own accord to explain away our inability to find satisfaction. Or we may huddle with the masses doing what we are told to do and believing what we are told to believe. Living our lives in quiet desperation.
Creativity is living in uncertainty; reaching out into the liminal space just beyond the known to embrace the treasures buried in the darkness and making it our own we share it with others. For creativity cannot happen in walled fortresses; for it is an expression of our naked selves given to the world not knowing what will come back to us in return. It feeds off the joy of uncertainty and discovery taking us further down the road into the deep forest we were warned not to tread by the timid gatekeepers and stallwart custodians of social convention. Uncertainty is chaos and from chaos comes creation.
